disarray

( top SAVERS, jeans VINTAGE LEE )

SHE WAITED...5 MINUTES TURNED INTO 10 AND 10 INTO 20...SO SHE PICKED UP THE PEN AND WROTE TO CALM HER WEARY MIND. SHE OPENED HER WINDOW AND FELT THE COLD WIND AGAINST HER SKIN. THE SOUND OF THE RAIN FALLING FILLED THE ROOM POUNDING TO THE BEAT OF THE MELODY OF THE MUSIC THAT WAS PLAYING. HER BEDROOM WAS IN DISARRAY, LAUNDRY COVERED  THE FLOOR. SHE COULDN'T SORT THROUGH FROM WHAT WAS CLEAN OR DIRTY CLOTHING. 

WHEN WOULD SHE FEEL AGAIN? WHEN WOULD SHE FIND THE WORDS TO WRITE AND SHARE? THEY WERE JUST WORDS ON PAPER. LETTERS FORMING EMPTY WORDS...HOW COULD SHE EXPRESS HERSELF IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE WORDS? EVERYTHING WAS O.K. SHE WASN'T IN LOVE & SHE WASN'T EXPERIENCING HEARTBREAK...SHE HAD ONES WHO LOVED HER AND ONES WHO SHE LOVED...WASN'T THAT ENOUGH TO FEEL? SHE NEEDED MORE...SHE WANTED MORE...SHE KNEW SHE NEEDED, WANTED CHAOS TO FEEL.