life is beautiful

( sweater VINTAGE, skirt and necklace NORDSTROM RACK )

She wanted to know that it was all worth it...She stayed awake contemplating the right move. It was she either checked in or not. Her friends gave her the ultimatum. There was only one option, going. The truth was staring her straight at her. She couldn't escape it this time around.

She sat there waiting, the sound of the clock ticking reminded her of time. Time passing and the present. Thanksgiving decorations hung on the walls along with colorful leaves that shouted fall. Of course there was the traditional goofy looking turkey made out of felt cut-outs. She had so much to be thankful for...The irony of her sitting there and waiting to be checked in.

 Jack a huge tall man stood there. He had remembered her from the past. Jack was her favorite, he had an infectious lovable personality. He seemed to be everyone's favorite. Her legs were shaky and her throat was dry. She thought "Please let it be different this time around"...She turned her head and there was a sign that read " LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL", she knew this. She stared down at her dry crusty toes and thought " FML I wish I wish I put extra lotion on". 

They called her name, it was time.  

the light at the end of the tunnel

(dress LOVERS + FRIENDS, jacket VINTAGE, booties TBA)
photos by LALENE LEAV

Happiness was at the tip of her fingers. The tools were right in front of her. She thought she had to search for happiness but it was ultimately found within herself. She found herself in the middle of nowhere picking a locked gate. No one and nothing would stop her from getting in to find that happiness even if she found a quick fix it wasn't what she was looking for. She would go through any road block before choosing a quick fix to find her happiness.

She thought it was suppose to be spilling towards her. She was a good giving person where was this happiness?!? Searching far and wide though the dark night would she find it? She didn't understand she had the light to guide her but she was still lost. If she wasn't pointing the light in the right direction she would forever remain lost.

In times of my despair it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's there but along the way I make the choice to stay in the darkness. But why would I do that? It's familiar and comfortable because there's a fear with what light may bring. I am at a turning point in my life awhile ago I had to take a step back and really analyze my life and make really hard healthy choices in order to see that light. I ended up quitting my job and taking a break from school to work on myself full time. Many may not understand that concept because we live in a fast pace on to the next one lifestyle where self care isn't always on top of the list. I had to make it a priority or darkness would be all I ever knew. It was probably the toughest life decision because I knew I would have to deal with just myself and face the problems that needed serious attention. I'm not defined by a job or my degree I know I have other aspects that judge my character. I am now ready to choose paths that lead to the light at the end of tunnel.

french floral

 ( blouse VINTAGE, leggings and jewelery HAND ME DOWNS, boots TOPSHOP)

One day at a time right? I know I'll get there and so will you!

visitor

( top LOFT, jeans THRIFT STORE, sandals BIRKENSTOCK) 

In line her eyes wandered…What exactly would she capture?! No doubt was there well dressed people. Her eyes gazed over… A curly red headed, bearded man caught her eye. Plaid blue button up, Grey wool cardigan, tan tailored pants cuffed at the bottom with maroon socks peaking through, his eyes glazed over at her… “Damn It!” She was caught, had he notice her noticing him? Maybe he wasn’t looking at her and past her, over her, behind her? Because there was no way he would be looking directly at her?!?  “Next in line”; She ordered a soy latte. She remembered to get a soy latte instead. The milk had made her bowel movements uneasy. So one soy latte it was… Oh his shoes! ; Brown laced up suede boots that appeared to be Clarks. On his back a canvas knapsack. Was he visiting LA or was he a resident of LA?

jump

(jumper, cardigan and hat VINTAGE, booties STEVE MADDEN)

I had a dream that I reached my insanity level. I was no longer in control, mentally. All I wanted to do was run… And run was what I did. I ran forever, faster and faster. I didn’t know where I was running to but as I ran I was surrounded by alleys, small streets that came to a curve. I passed by little shops. Running; past these shops in an unfamiliar town. I kept running and I came across poverty. Men and women living in the corners of the streets built their beds. Their shelter made out of boxes and blankets. She had caught up to me the first time and I happened to escape again; running away from her, I ran faster, my breathing a bit harder, the run led to a cliff. I continued to run up these stairs that led to a metro station. I didn’t get on instead I went another route with another set of stairs. This time the stair way was crowded with children. I tried to hide in the group of children hoping to be disguised, but was caught by them. They were calling my name and all I wanted to do was jump off from the top of the stairs.

confetti jacket

(dress and jacket VINTAGE, booties ENZO, beanie ZARA)

She woke up to the light peaking through her bedroom curtains. What time was it? She usually set her alarm but she was in no rush to be anywhere in particular. It was fourteen days into the new year and she slowly was making changes in her life. She still had no new year's resolution just unwritten down goals that floated around in her head. Today was the day she would apply to jobs. She was ready to put herself out there in the job market. She felt and could hear her heart beating faster and faster as she thought about the stress that would come along with just the simple applications. This was perfectly normal though right? 

She pulled her light blue, sea green and pink rose paisley covers over her head. "I can do this" she whispered as she took a deep breath in "I will do this" she said exhaling her dragon breath out "But first I must brush my teeth". She pulled the covers off and got up wearing last nights now wrinkled island print maxi. She almost always fell asleep wearing last nights outfit as her pajamas either that or sleeping in her underwear. In her underwear because she was still working on it, meaning losing a couple of pounds so that she'd fit into any of her PJ bottoms. 

"Today will be different...Today will be better" was her mantra of the day. She said this with a mouth full of toothpaste looking into the bathroom mirror. She wiped the rim around her mouth and changed out of the island print maxi. She decided on a black suede dress with slits on both sides. It hugged her a little too tight. It must have been the weight she gained. She was determined to wear the dress so she threw on a confetti printed vintage jacket that hid her bulging stomach. "Whatever that works" she thought checking herself out in her full length bedroom mirror. 
It was the confetti jacket that hid all her insecurities. She knew it and hoped that she'd work her confidence up on taking the confetti jacket off but she wasn't ready just yet. 

tunic top

 (beanie ZARA, cropped top VINTAGE, tunic top FREE PEOPLE, leather jacket METROPARK, jeans ZARA, booties STEVE MADDEN)

This FREE PEOPLE asymmetrical tunic top is way too short to wear as a dress so to cover my caboose I styled it with jeans. I got this stripped vintage ribbed top at a thrift store and cut into a cropped top and it became much more appealing to wear and use as a layering piece. I transitioned the tunic top into the winter season by pairing it with the cropped top that is a thicker sweater-like material. I tried to add that edgey factor by throwing over my leather jacket! 

SHOP THE LOOK HERE

(click the links below)

beanie ASOS  jeans TOPSHOP tunic top URBAN OUTFITTERS necklace FREE PEOPLE leather jacket ASOS booties STEVE MADDEN cropped top URBAN OUTFITTERS

floral kimono

(denim jacket LEVIS, floral kimono LOVERS+FRIENDS, top ELLA MOSS, jogger pants BABEAU, boots STEVE MADDEN, necklace TJMAXX)

 

I got this short sleeve kimono at my LOVER+FRIENDS internship as a sample and it is one of my favorite layering pieces. The way the chiffon drapes gives it that ethereal vibe so to toughen up the look I tossed over this boyfriend size LEVIS denim jacket. I love putting together two contrasting vibes such as girly and tomboy together because #SHEDGAF she wants to do it all and wear it all! The lengths of each separate item work well together adding dimension to the outfit. Layering different lengths can help your outfit from looking flat plus it's super fun to play around with different layers during the winter season.

 

SHOP THE LOOK HERE

(click the links below)

1 denim jacket URBAN OUTFITTERS 2 kimono URBAN OUTFITTERS 3 necklace FREE PEOPLE 4 boots NASTYGAL 5 pants ASOS 6 top FREE PEOPLE

lbd (little black dress)

 (hat URBAN OUTFITTERS, turtleneck H&M, dress UNITED COLORS OF BENETTON, boots ENZO)

This LBD (little black dress) is super scandalous when worn on a summer night out. It's plunging neckline screams itty bitty titty friendly and yo girl loves a dress where she can get away without wearing a bra! The halter adds a feminine delicate touch as well as the scooped low back. It definitely accentuates all the right curves on my body. During the winter it's perfect for layering fitted long sleeves like this H&M heather grey turtle neck that I realized is one size too small on me (you're welcome JESS! who now owns it). Kept my legs bare as well as my ankles with these ENZO steel tip booties and added this captain's hat for a very French touch!

SHOP THE LOOK HERE

(click the links below)

1 dress NEED SUPPLY 2 shoes NEED SUPPLY 3 hat FREE PEOPLE 

 4 turtleneck J.CREW

floral dress

 (dress TOPSHOP, sweater SAVERS THRIFT, socks TJMAXX, shoes ENZO)

I got this floral dress during the summer at TOPSHOP and was questioning whether or not it was the right fit. I kept wondering if it'd immediately go out of season and not translate into other climates. I usually throw on knitted sweaters over flirty dresses so why not try it out with this dress. It became winter ready with throwing a black knitted sweater over and putting on some cozy thigh-high socks. Transform any of your fit and flare dresses by throwing on a chunky knit sweater or over-sized cardigan. To keep your legs warm go for a knee/thigh-high or stockings.   

SHOP THE LOOK HERE

(click the links below)

1 sweater TOPSHOP 2 boots URBAN OUTFITTERS 3 socks FREE PEOPLE 4 dress ASOS

heeled sandal

(earrings VINTAGE, sweater SAVERS THRIFT, jeans ZARA, heels H&M)

Moving along with the summer essentials that can be worn in the winter we have the color block heeled sandal. In the summer worn with that flirty and flouncy floral dress but in the winter wear it with cozy socks. I know what you're thinking WTF but hey #SHEDGAF she still wants to wear her open toe heeled sandals when it's 50 degrees out so problem solved. I pulled my hair back and accessorized with these statement tassel earrings. It's a party from head to toe! 

SHOP THE LOOK HERE

(click the links below)

1 sweater FREE PEOPLE 2 earrings TOPSHOP 3 socks FREE PEOPLE 4. heels ZARA 5. jeans ZARA