Stage 3: Lucid

STAGE 3: LUCID

I walked until silence became silence. They said solitude and self reflection would do me some good. I wasn't alone, I was with the company of my thoughts. One was brutally honest, she told me to face what was in front of me and stop running away, but I can't. I approached another one and she was kind and gentle. She spoke sweet words of who I was and what I deserved. I couldn't except those words and walked away. I came across one who was sad and remorseful and it hurt too much to stay so I left. And in the distance there she was, standing with her back turned against me. She looked cold and scared. I offered my hand but she refused. I told her of a place where the light would hit and she would feel warm. I promised her that I would keep her safe. She turned to me with eyes filled with tears and said "Save yourself".

No one or nothing could fill this void. Not a person. Not food. Not drinks. Not sex. Nothing that he could give me. I was dragged through the deepest pit of my soul. I held on for so long. I'm tired of putting up a fight. I'm finally letting go. I surrender.