was this it

( sunglasses PRADA, top BUFFALO EXCHANGE, jeans ZARA, sandals STEVE MADDEN, necklace TOPSHOP)

this excerpt is from a piece inspired by someone with a beautiful soul and beautiful dreams 

I believe in you and i hope you do too 

dreams can be reality

this is not it!  

SHE QUESTIONED THIS ROUTINE...SHE COULDN'T WRAP HER HEAD AROUND THAT THIS WAS WHAT HER DAY CONSISTED OF...WORK AND SCHOOL...SCHOOL AND WORK WAS THAT IT? THE OCCASIONAL HANGOUTS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS ON THE WEEKENDS? THERE HAD TO BE MORE TO THIS ROUTINE OF LIFE...SHE FELT SO SMALL IN THE WORLD BUT WHAT SHE FORGOT WAS HER DREAMS...SHE HAD SO MUCH BEAUTY TO SHARE... IT WAS CREATING AND SHARING IT WITH OTHERS TO CONNECT AND FEEL...

not giving up?

( beret H&M, top NORDSTROM RACK, skirt BUFFALO EXCHANGE, shoes TOPSHOP)

It's hard to walk away from it all when other's believe in you. So I guess I'll keep on keeping on. I have no other choice, so fine universe you win I'm not giving up!!!! I want to be unapologetic for who I am. I'm tired of making myself seem so very tiny in comparison to others. I won't give them that power. Sometimes I write and I post it here and then I reread what I posted and question it all. Do I make sense? Do I sound stupid? Why am I so vulnerable with my writing? Am I sharing too much? Who even reads this? I have so many questions and I am looking for answers!!! I want to know where am I going with all of this, taking photos, styling, posting my writing sharing it and wondering why I do it all???

whole again

( dress & vest BUFFALO EXCHANGE, boots FRANCO SARTO, earrings LOVEIT  JEWELRY) 

THEY SAID SOLITUDE AND SELF REFLECTION WOULD DO HER SOME GOOD. SHE FELT IDLE AND IT SEEMED AS IF SHE HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD...TIME TO SEARCH FOR WHAT SHE WAS LOOKING FOR...BUT WHAT WAS IT THAT SHE NEEDED TO FIND? SHE FELT HOLLOW...COULD OTHERS SEE RIGHT THROUGH HER? SHE WANTED SO BADLY TO SAY HOW SHE FELT...THE TRUTH...SHE HAD LOST HER INDEPENDENCE... SHE JUST WANTED TO GO FOR THE THINGS SHE SHE WANTED REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME...THIS HOLLOW FEELING WOULD PASS AND SHE WOULD FEEL WHOLE AGAIN...

SHE WOULD KNOW THE SMELL, TASTE, SOUND, SIGHT, AND TOUCH OF HAPPINESS. 

today & always

(jeans ZARA, top THRIFT STORE, boots JEFFREY CAMPBELL)

• I CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE TODAY
• I CHOOSE TO BALANCE MY FEELINGS AND MY THOUGHTS TODAY
• I CHOOSE TO MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES TODAY
• I CHOOSE TO TRUST IN MY RELATIONSHIPS TODAY
• I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE I AM AMAZING TODAY

familiarity

( vest BUFFALO EXCHANGE, top BANANA REPUBLIC, jewelry VINTAGE, boots STEVE MADDEN)

I watched March slip through my fingers and just like that it is the  start of April.

She has known this feeling for as long as she can remember. Every time it visits it's like a sharp jab to her chest and she loses all her breath. She questions who she is and what she has to offer. Why does she become weak and let it eat away at her like eroding rocks. The current is so strong and she just has to wait until it subsides.  No affirmation feels omnipotent. She has climbed the tallest peak only to free fall into a dark muddy ditch of quick sand and now she must grab onto anything for dear life, grasping for air and a clear vision because nothing is at all what it seems.